Audio Sample

“So you need rescue?” from Beautiful Princess Available for Rescue

Princess Primrose is being held captive by a warrior known as Bullstrode. Primrose finds it obvious she is being held captive because she’s “the fairest in the land.”

TEXT
PRIMROSE: I am pleased to meet you, Your Highness.
I am Primrose, Princess of Oakwood.
I'm glad you've come to rescue me.
JEFFREY: Then I guess this must be the place.
WILBUR: So you need rescue?
PRIMROSE: Oh, yes, desperately.
For two years, I have been held captive
by a monster known as Bullstrode.
Ever so many nobles have died trying to free me.
It's depressing.
WILBUR: I don’t understand.
What holds you here? Is there some kind of ransom?
PRIMROSE: Bullstrode doesn't want a ransom.
WILBUR: Then why does Bullstrode hold you?
PRIMROSE: Well, duh! It’s so obvious.
I'm the fairest in the land,
the one they fight the wars for.
My grace and beauty beyond compare
are treasures that men all would die for.

At my birth, the birds began to sing,
flowers bloomed, and winter turned to spring.
Breezes blew and caressed my hair—
All to celebrate one so fair.

As I grew, my beauty did the same.
Precious child did blossom to perfection.
Old men wept to see a maid so sweet,
their tears the proof of my election:

Behold the fairest in the land,
the one they write the songs of.
The truth is that Bullstrode is just like the rest;
he hopes that he can win my love.
I hate the sight of him.
I hope you understand:
All I have done is just be me,
the fairest maiden in the land.

JEFFREY: What a bimbo!

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